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Joel Blackstock
Psychotherapist at Taproot Therapy Collective
Joel Blackstock is a psychotherapist at Taproot Therapy Collective, where he serves as a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker (LICSW-S) with a Master of Social Work (MSW) and Private Independent Practice (PIP) certification. He specializes in treating complex trauma and is certified in Emotional Transformation Therapy. Additionally, Joel is trained in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) and Brainspotting Phase 2, integrating multiple experiential therapy modalities into his practice.357
On LinkedIn, Joel uses the username "joelbirminghamtherapist" and regularly shares insights on topics such as psychotherapy, trauma, and related psychological issues.246 His work focuses on helping individuals affected by trauma through various therapeutic approaches.
Prior to his current role at Taproot Therapy Collective, Joel's career involved working with individuals experiencing trauma, chronic homelessness, and severe psychotic disorders.1 However, detailed information about his early career stages might be limited due to unavailable sources.
Highlights
Understanding the Role of Trauma and Inner Parts
When couples embark on the journey of marriage counseling, they often wonder whether the process is truly working for them. While some may experience immediate improvements in their relationship, others may feel stuck or unsure if they are making progress. To determine the effectiveness of marriage counseling, it is crucial to understand the role of trauma and how it affects individuals at different stages of their lives, entrenching certain parts of the self. Without addressing these underlying issues, marriage counseling may fail to create lasting change.
Signs That Marriage Counseling May Not Be Working Lack of progress:
If you have been attending marriage counseling sessions for a while but feel that you are not making any significant progress, it may be a sign that the current approach is not working for you.
Persistent reactivity:
When couples continue to engage in reactive patterns and struggle to break free from the cycle of negativity, it indicates that the underlying issues have not been adequately addressed.
Focusing on external factors:
If the focus of marriage counseling remains on external factors, such as financial stress or child-rearing challenges, without delving into the deeper, internal issues, the process may not lead to lasting change.
One-sided growth: When one partner begins to heal and grow while the other remains stuck in reactionary patterns, it can lead to a parent-child dynamic that perpetuates disconnection and hinders progress.
Divorce: A Confusing and Tiring Process
Divorce is a confusing and tiring process, and most people believe they are divorcing for one reason when, in reality, they are divorcing for a completely different reason. Many individuals have one foot out the door in their marriages, but a true divorce is actually against our false self.
According to Sue Johnson's work on divorce and marriage counseling in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), two inner children often make the majority of marriage contracts. When we marry, for many, the contract is made by their needy and dependent inner child. People often think their relationships will improve once external factors change, such as paying off debt, children getting older, or kids leaving for college. However, this perspective is based on something outside of themselves changing instead of looking within.
The Importance of Self-Work Within the Relationship
To create lasting change in a marriage, individuals must start working on themselves inside the relationship, changing their patterns and reactions. As one person changes, the relationship has to change. This process is not easy, but it is effective.
When children leave for college, couples may find themselves living as roommates or experiencing worse fighting than before. The silence that comes with an empty nest can manifest loneliness in ways that are difficult to imagine when the kids are still at home.
